Once again i find myself alone for new years eve. It's been like this for the past four years straight in a row. Somehow i find myself getting used to it. Hopefully next year might be different. Who knows...

Another year has gone by, so many things have changed over the past year... I finally got a job, lost some weight, got a new laptop,handphone, tons of shoes, made a whole lot of new friends and am single again =) . Things don't look too bleak on the financial and educational side but it'd be nice to have someone to share my thoughts with from time to time. Someone who i can look to as a person who will listen without feeling obliged. Hmm.

There are some stuff i don't want to say here so it'll probably go on my other blog. =) Happy New Year to all of my faithful readers :D



Some things are unavoidable, no matter what you do. That night, i told you what you needed to know and what i thought you should know. Maybe you have bad past experiences, but who doesn't have skeletons in their own closet? I have my share of past experiences too, some of which might change your mind after you know about it. But if we could forget that and maybe start from scratch, then maybe we can really be happy.

Sometimes i wished that mistletoe grew on trees. That would make things so much easier.

Wish list for Christmas:
-Razer Deathadder
-Digital Camera or SE C905
-You


I don't want this moment
To ever end
Where everything's nothing, without you
I wait here forever just to,
To see you smile
'Cause it's true
I am nothing without you.



i had so much fun today! :)

but... i'm lazy to talk about it. So here are some pictures! :D

Went to kallang leisure park today. Skating ring was undergoing ice resurfacing(which we didn't realise was at 7pm which we though to be at 6pm because we didn't see the notice for the change in ice resurfacing times). So anyway we went to the arcade. And... i caught this! In the claw machine! Ha! The funny thing was i caught in on my second last try after spending almost 10 bucks trying out different machines.



Looks spastic huh? lol. But it kinda makes you wanna laugh every time you look at it. Then i got kinda sadistic and did this to it.



Heh. I love mistreating toys.

So in the end we did go for ice skating after having dinner and chilling at starbucks for awhile. It was all fun. I can't remember the last time i had that much fun. We ended at 10pm which was pretty late given that the rink was closing and we went in at 8pm.


This is an Indonesian restaurant there. iWannaGetStuffed? LOL.


Giant M&M's containing little M&M's! Going at $4.60 lol

And that pretty much sums up my day. Fun fun fun. Let's see. I've still got 5 more weeks to go. Gotta make the best of it =).



love is complicated.

so are feelings.

hot and cold. Who knows what means what?

How is it even possible to like someone who doesn't feel the same way as you?

I just realised that all this while, i was running away. Running away from reality. I was too afraid of the truth so i chose to run away and stick to whatever i was thinking.

"One day you'll get tired of all this boy-girl stuff and realise that hanging out with your friends is the best thing to do. When love comes it does so naturally, you don't have to go looking for it."

I wonder if all this while my efforts have been futile. Whether or not they have made a change anywhere. If destiny deems it to be this way there is nothing i can do to change it. All along i thought that if i played my cards right i might win something. Who knew that i might end up losing everything that i ever had.

In any case i'm going to isolate myself from the outside world once i enter NS. That way i don't have to worry about anything and i can peacefully "wait" until love comes knocking on my door instead of me constantly trying to break down the door.

I don't know how it will be for me to carry on like this when clearly it's affecting me so badly. I'm getting confused from every angle. Can't someone just throw me a frigging hint somewhere so i can pick it up, understand it throughly and carry on with my life.

I realise that i'm very dependant on people for advise, i can't seem to make my own decisions. Especially life changing ones.

Anyway i guess my life is meant to be filled with misery., sigh



i really don't know what i'm doing or throwing myself into. i need to think this through carefully before i cause something drastic to happen.

Should i be so selfish and carry on with what i'm doing? i mean, i wouldn't want the same thing to happen if it were me. sigh...




wahahaha. Need i say more? <33333333333333333333333333333333