WHAT THE FUCK.

I never thought in a million years that this would happen AGAIN. There's a saying that goes, once bitten twice shy. Apparently it doesn't apply here. I don't know why, i don't know how but i sure don't intend in any way to find out. Your life is none of my business, i have no right to dabble into affairs that don't concern me. But why the hell can you not see that he's using you?

I'm sorry for saying this but as a friend i have to tell you this. You're WEAK. This would probably be the second time that i'm so pissed with you. But hey you probably don't give a shit about me. Who am i to you anyway? You treat me like dirt anyway. Probably worser than how you would treat your friends. Unless you're telling me you treat all your friends the same way, then you've got some serious issues.

Sometimes we gotta let our heart lead us, but at times where the heart and the mind conflict you gotta use something called COMMON SENSE before you decide which part of you does the choosing. God, when will you EVER learn?

there's no point in me waiting for you anymore, cause i know, deep down in your heart, im not the one you truely loved. i look forward to the day i wont think about you anymore, or a mention of your name or anything related to you wouldnt hurt me at all. BULLSHIT

Wake up from your dream Mel. So what if i don't know every detail about your relationship? So what if i don't know hiro well enough? Despite all that i do know one thing. He was NEVER good enough for you and you will NEVER be good enough for him to even love you the exact same way and the exact same manner in the long run.

I said what i had to say and i stand by it.



2km in 11.47 minutes. Superb improvement from last time. All i need to do is to find the perserverence to run one more round and i got my timing for 2.4km. But it's going to be different when i run the actual thing cuz i won't be able to count the number of rounds i run, it's just going to be constant running. Damn.

Shower time. Chao



One more month till freedom. I can't wait. And it probably isn't going to end there. I mean after the holidays i still gotta come back to school and go through my grading. I'm so proud of all the work I'VE done, all the effort I'VE put in and all the stress I'VE been through.

So what if i don't complain? Retribution will come one way or another. He'll get his just desserts. In the mean time, i should keep up the good work. Guitar class tomorrow. Wonder what new stuff we're going to learn.

Ran 4 rounds around the track at NYJC today and clocked a time of 10:49. Pretty stable if you ask me. But i gave up halfway cause i had no more juice left in me. Anyway it's getting pretty late. I'm gonna hit the hay now.

now i don't know what to do,
where do i go from here?
i'm having mixed feelings. Damn




screw i wish i had someone to rant to.

FUCK Steven Tan.



It's been so long already, i can't seem to fathom why i don't seem to be able to summon the courage to express my feelings. It's killing me inside.

I'm starting to feel the stress from MP/SIP. Probably cause it's already week 14 and i have about 5 more weeks left before PR 2. Time really flies doesn't it, it seems like just yesterday that i was doing research on what i was supposed to do for my project.

I realised something about myself recently. I'm a person who doesn't like to be confronted or confront others. In very layman terms i just don't like to argue/quarrel/fight etc etc.

Don't really feel like blogging so i guess i'll stop here. School tomorrow. Kill me.

Soon.



All i need to know is that you'll be there for me. And everything will be perfect. I just want to tell the world how i feel about you. But i'm afraid of the reply that i'll get.





i'm getting so noob in DOtA. Past few days i haven't been on form at all. I think i only won 2 or 3 of the aforementioned games. Arghh. Probably because i've become accustomed to Bnet standard which is pretty much the worst so i've begun to think i'm pretty good at it. Until i start playing on IRC.

Restrung my guitar. Time to start praticing. Lesson next Tuesday. Hope i learn something useful. It gets pretty boring playing the same song over and over again. The tune is stuck in my head. Oh well, back to my last game of DOta before i hit the hay. Adios.



Like my title suggests, i went on a song frenzy just now! Downloaded tons of new songs to listen to. I need a new Ipod! This Ipod ain't big enough for myself .

Well, with this entry i bring good news. I got a job! :D Like finally i get to earn my own keep. No more living off the parents. No more being a scrooge when it comes to buying stuff. Can't wait to start work. Lots of stuff i want to buy...

1. New Ipod
2. New HeadPhones
3. New Clothes(Tops, Jeans,Jackets, you name it)
4. New Guitar

Which reminds me, Tuesday's guitar lesson was fun. I can't wait to learn more. The first song i'm going to learn how to play is Remembering Sunday by All Time Low once I've more or less reached that standard. That's pretty much the reason why I picked up guitar in the first place. Maybe when i've learnt guitar i'll move on to what i wanted to learn when i was still in secondary school.. drums. I've been told i've got more of a talent for drums than the guitar.

Oh well, off to bed with me. Toodles~

You're more or less a memory now.



I don't know what to say. I'm really lost for words.

I guess i've always been 'that guy' . Never called by name, never mentioned, just a mere stranger as a fraction of your life.

You'll never know how much you've hurt me over the years. Time and time again. Sometimes i thought that maybe life would be so much better if i didn't have to put myself through the same torture everyday.

I probably don't mean anything to you, with the huge amount of friends you have. Even successfully asking you out, to me, is like winning the lottery. It means so much to me that every second i spend with you is like a single coin to a beggar. Desperate for more, yet unable to get it.

What i say right now might not mean a thing to you. " so what? You're nobody to me , i couldn't care less even if you died cause i probably wouldn't notice"

I doubt you even know you're treating me like this. It's more or less second nature to you.

But if by some miracle you do know who you are, then it'll probably be the last you hear from me. Because i'm done waiting for you to realise that what i've been going through is not what friendship is even about.

But on second thought, i doubt you would even come across this. It'd most likely be the last place on earth in the internet you'd wanna visit.

fuck, why does life have to be so unfair to me.



I just spent my entire night reading previous entires from my past. It really good to bring back some pleasant memories. It's good to relive the happiness that you once experienced. Stuff that you did before that you can now laugh at.

I'll always remember three days. Firstly is the day i was 'late' for my GCE 'O' level combined science mcq paper. The last paper for my 'O' levels and i thought i was late when the paper was scheduled to be in the afternoon and i woke up at 7.45am thinking that my paper was at 8am.

Second day to remember. The day i got my 'O' level results. Recalling how i used to be so crazy about maple until i could actually play it during those two weeks of examinations, it was actually the happiest moment of my life to reciece my results and see a pass.

The last day i'll always remember will be 16th October 2005. What went on that day? Only two people know. And one of them is me :D .