The guy who loves you, if he know's he can't always see you,he will try to make himself busy,so that he will not have any time to remember you,because he knew, if he did,he will keep on missing you until he could do nothing.

The guy who loves you can't tell you the reason why he loves you, but only knows that in his eyes you are the only one

The guy who loves you seldom praises you but in his heart, you are the best, and only he knows it.

The guy who loves you will worry sick or complain if you don't reply his messages because he cares.

The guy who loves you ,Only sheds his tears in front of you,and when you try to wipe his tears,you are touching his heart,the heart that beats for you.

The guy who loves you will remember every word u said ,even its accidental,and he will use those words always in the nick of time.

The guy who loves you will not promise that easily,because he doesn't want to break that promise,he wants you to believe him and he wants to give you the happiest and safest life always.

The guy who loves you always tells you not to think too much,because he planned everything,he wants to give u the perfect life in the future,he wants to surprise you,believe that he can do it.

The guy who loves you,will go to airport to fetch you, he won't carry a bouquet of roses and call you darling like what you expect.but he will carry your luggage and ask you, "why have you become so thin in two days?" with his sincere heart.

The guy who loves you will listen quietly to you,when you are mad, and when you finished talking he will say, "you have class tomorrow, have an early night" with a smile. "I'll make sure you do.."

The guy who loves you doesn't know whether he should call you when you are angry,but he will send a message to you after a few hours, and if you ask him why did he call that late, he will say when you are angry,his explanation will be rubbish.But when you calm down,his explanation will work.

The guy who loves you always calls you a kid,but everytime he wants to make a big decision,he will want to hear your advice first.

The guy who loves you don't like toys like teddy bears,but he will always put the bear you gave him on his bed,and hug it everytime he sleeps cuz it reminds him of you.

The guy who loves you, when quarrelling, will apologize non-stop,even though you're the one who's wrong, he just wants you to be happy.

The guy who loves you,when he really misses you,he will want to buy you a bouquet of roses and wait for you stupidly outside your front door and when you shockingly find him there,he'll already be asleep dreaming of you...



I need a new layout. Spongebob is boring me. (edit: ok i got it =x)

Went to exchange my external hard disk today, they said they would send a new one to me in the next 7-10 days. All my data gone -.- . I can't even back it up in my computer because i can't access it. I can't believed i got fooled into buying such a ridiculous hard disk. All their bullshit about push one button to back up all your files. I just want something that works like a freaking thumbdrive for god's sake. Not a bloody pandora's box that i can't even open properly without losing my cool. Damn it.

I have two things that i'm confused about. The first is kinda personal so i'd prefer not to let the entire world know about it. The second is which instrument i wanna learn. By right i already decided on learning the classical guitar, but today when i went down to Yamaha at Plaza Sing and heard the lady at the piano testing it out, my mind suddenly didn't want to play guitar so much anymore.

It was the most peaceful thing i've ever heard. So calm, so serene. It was as though i could just close my eyes and imagine the most beautiful setting . After listening to her song piece i began to have second thoughts. So i asked if i could have a few days to think about it and was told that i could have a 3 day reservation for me to think about it before coming down to make my registration payment. So now i'm confused, not knowing whether to learn the guitar or piano, or not learn at all. it's because i'm going to be enlisted for national service soon and i don't want to have to stop halfway. The entire course takes 5 years to finish. That's a pretty long time in my opinion.

I'm not a person who likes to make my own decisions. sometimes other people have to influence me to make them. Sometimes i have to be forced to do it. Why i never like to decide stuff is because whenever i do actually decide on something after a period of time i will start to have second thoughts. Like say buying a shirt for example, people might say i look nice in it and ask me to buy it. That might actually make me want to buy the shirt MORE than not buying it.

But at some point in out lives we all have to make our own decisions because other people won't be there for us forever now won't they?



She was willing to give him anything, even the world.

But he turned a blind eye to her love for him.

And yet, she held on, refusing to let go even though she was emotionally exhausted.

Have we ever asked ourselves why do we suffer for the sake of our loved ones?

Because we love them? No.

It's only because, deep down inside, we just want them to be happy.

Even if it's just as a friend, we want their lives to be fufilling.

Even if it means dedicating your entire life to that person.




Great workout i had after i came back from school. it felt really really good. I'm going again tomorrow.

I ran 5 rounds around the NYJC track non-stop, heard words of encouragement from a total stranger i didn't know and broke my specs!

ISN'T THAT GREAT?!

Ok so maybe the breaking of my specs wasn't THAT great. But right now, i feel really good about myself. Because i made someone happy today. And i'm happy with myself for actually finding the discipline to go jogging even though i told myself it'll be too late by the time i reach home.

Just seeing you smile is enough to put my heart at ease. Because i know one thing, that you deserve happiness and you should be happy. Maybe it won't mean anything to you but to me every second that smile is on your face it can make even the darkest clouds go away :) Smile always.



I was just reading Melswee's blog and she did a post about all her groups of friends. Kinda set me thinking too lol. I think i'll do a post about my friends too. Though i don't have as many as her. But hey, at least there are lesser words to read.


Saint Gabriel's Primary School

I sort of lost contact with all my primary school friends except for a couple. I remember who i was close to during my last year at SGPS. Hamdan and Joel Chan. Hmm, nice memories. The first two people who i was ever close with. The bond between us was really tight. Sadly i never knew where they went to. During my early primary school years i can only remember a few of my friends, Joel and his twin Jermaine, Ronald,Philbert,Marcus,Benjamin(ang mo who lived near me, very sissy like). Ronald taught me how to play Chinese Chess, Joel and Jermaine always played games with me and my cousin under the staircase leading to the hall. The only one who followed me to the same secondary school and ended up in the same class as me was Aden.

Saint Gabirel's Secondary School

Hmm, SGSS i had a quite a number of friends. Aden followed me throughout sec 1-4 in the same class. We were always saying that it was such a coincidence. Though we weren't close during our early years in secondary school but we got to know each other better when we entered upper sec. Friends who i remember, hmm, mostly during upper sec. I still remember that our class was labelled as the most notorious express class in the whole cohord. wahaha. 3E4 to 4E4. That was our legacy. One hell of a memory. Sec3-4 i hung out with the same people. Joel, Elisha, Ian, Jerry, Aden, Faiz, Jonathan, Wei Qun. Lost contact with all except Joel and Wei Qun who are in the same course with me now. I still talk to Aden and Faiz every now and then. I saw Faiz working at Gelare at PS quite recently. And i bumped into Aden too while walking out of Serangoon MRT.

For those who spent their primary and secondary school years in a single sex school, naturally you would find i hard to adapt to an environment where there are mixed genders. And of course during your secondary school years you tend to mature and you want to experiment what it's like to be in a r/s with a girl/guy. So yeah i guess it's pretty natural for everyone.

Temasek Poly

Nothing much to say here, i don't really consider coming to poly as being able to socialise. I'm here to get my Diploma and get out, simple as that. But i only made one good friend from spending almost 3 years here. And that person is Calgary. he changed my taste in music(thank god) and introduced me to one of the best shows in life. FAMILY GUY!!! :D

Maplestory

Wow, ok. I would say that a majority of my friends would come from here. Though i'm not as close to them as my real life friends but we're still good. Hmm, lets see now, i have 2 sets of maple friends. Before i went on hiatus and before i quit. Lets see.

Before i quit:
-Tamajun( Junnnnnnnnnnn jie! :D a.k.a breadtalk wahaha :P)
-Sodiume(Weina Jie!)
-oompa(Tim Jie Fu!)
-Wizux
-Pho8nixRider(xuan)
-Scaared(Jolvin)
-Shikimii(Victoria)
-windwindOO(Georgina a.k.a my maple daughter :x)
-[forgot ign](Jeff, Georgina's real life husband)
-Pinkus(Cheryl, my maple mummie!)
-Sesstenseiga(Joel, not the one i know in real life.)
-Frozenstryke(Keith, Joel's friend)
-Allia(Vivian, maple dear)
-PanpanB(Geraldine, maple nu er number 2 :x)
-Radicalxy(panpan's maple dear)
-Yourichi(Aaron, knew though Melswee)
-[forgot ign](Leoric, friends for only awhile before he quit)
-Archerosh( shuhui, also through Melswee)

I actually met a few of them in real life before. Sodiume became my god sis in real life but thanks to some problems our relationship has been stained. That's a part of my life i really regretted. Shikimii became my girlfriend and we had a relationship which lasted till only recently. I'd prefer not to go into detail. I met up with Pinkus only once on the count that i promised her dinner. Tamajun was only when i was back from hiatus that i met her.

Before Quitting:

-Dycedarg(Stanley, the leader of DuckieFC)
-TisSueBoii(Qi Jun a.k.a sue because it's a shorter form of tissue lol)
-Dumb0Jumb0(Wei Cheng, currently in the same poly and school as me but a year younger)
-TooHot4U(Lod, met him through Jun jie)
-Reelyn( Rueylin, full of nonsense LOL. Always crapping with her)
-shjt( Yingying a.k.a mouse. She lives near me! Good friend lol)
-mmph92(Jaz, not that close with her. Suffered some drama with her at some point of time)
-Auburnshot( the stupid noob. Just kidding :D)
-xEvilBlazex(Shah, the guy who always emos because of his love life lol)

And there's that one special person i met that changed my life entirely. But sadly things weren't meant to be. Sigh. I couldn't bring myself to carry on, i just couldn't. I guess she won't ever read this but i just want to say that it's really been a pleasure knowing you. Even though she won't read this, i hope we stay friends forever :)

Well for this group i've actually met all of them before. I got to know them all through Jun jie when i joined the DuckieFC guild. Bunch of friendly people. I swear i've never laughed as much as i have when i'm with them. Even though they're more fluent with their chinese i don't mind. They still kill me with all the jokes they throw at me. Love them all.

DOtA friends

Ahh, i still remember the time when i was hardcore about DOtA. All the training sessions, overnight LAN sessions and clan outings. Memmories to be kept with me forever. Lordkanenites(Ash), Cloudnites(Leo),Kpg)Yachiru, Kpg)Lubu, Kpg)Kiimbalor, Platinum_groove, Hyde_Faith, GilesCheah. United Clan of Kampong, Clan KPG. Always in my heart :)

Random Friends

Well well well, most of the people here are girls actually. LOL. Remember what i said about being in a single sex school for 10 years? Well at some point of time you tend to get sort of desperate and grasp any opportuinity you have at talking to a member of the opposite gender. Thus began the story of Melody. Things kinda got out of hand and lets just say it was sort of a mess. But in the process i got to know Melswee and we've become good friends over the years.

Kai Xian was my first ever girlfriend that i had. Disaster i tell you. That's all i'm going to say. But i got to know Eileen at the same time and i'm still talking to her currently.

Sabrina! my living diary. I used to pour all my joys and sorrows to her on msn and on the phone. We used to be so close before i entered Poly, but now we seldom talk. It's quite sad actually.

Friends whom i never want to lose contact with(in no order)
-Joel
-Calgary
-Melswee(the "no eyebags" version)
-Junnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn jie :D
-Weina jie
-Reelyn
-Mouse
-Aden
-Yiping

You guys mean alot to me. I would hate it if one day i woke up and found these people missing from my life. I think i would just DIE.

Ok i guess that was quite a long entry too. Well i'm going to bed. Gotta be up early for movie marathon tomorrow!



I feel so bored. Like there's nothing to do in my life anymore. Like now for example, i wanna post something on my blog but can't even find the words to type. That's how bored i am. Ugh. Monday tomorrow, gotta work on my project before PR1. Thanks to my so called partner who isn't doing any work at all, i've beeen left with the responsibility to start doing work or else the group is going to die. But you know it's always like that in a group with 2 people. Usually one will be slacking while the other is working. Same goes for groups of 3, two works while the other just stares into thin air.

I feel like i've made alot of wrong choices in my life. I wanna correct the mistakes i've made in the past but i've not been presented with a proper opportuinity to redeem myself. I've often asked myself why do i have to go through such pain. Then i realised that it actually didn't have to be this way until i made the choice to let it be like this. Life is all about presenting opportuinites to people. We are presented with an opportunity and are left to deal with it in any way that we please. It's sort of like a flowchart. For those of you who don't know what a flowchart is, it's actually a diagram whch represents a certain process. In this flowchart the process is life itself, and we have different points in our lives where we have to make choices and depending on those choices it affects our lives differently. If you're still not sure as to what i'm talking about then go google "flowchart" then you'll see what i mean.



When everything's meant to be broken, i just want you to know who i am....

Iris- The Goo Goo Dolls


I've never felt so lost in my entire life. I wish i could cry it all out, but it wouldn't change a thing. Sigh.. Life has played me out again..






Why does time have to tick so slowly?

I don't want to be tortured like this anymore. It's like a drug, the more you take the more you want it. You crave for it like a man in the desert looking for that single drip of water to quench his thirst. You yearn for it the way a child wants a toy and throws a tandrum if he doesn't get it. And your desperate to get it as soon as possible the minute the opportuinity presents itself.

I'm not talking about food or toys or even drugs for that matter. But think carefully and try to solve this mystery. It's not that hard, everyone has to go through it at some point of your life. Unless of course you're a social outcast, in which case i wish you the best of luck .

I need to find something to distract myself. Something to keep me occupied until the time comes. Look at the time this was posted and you'll see my point. Sleep has lost its comfort, food has lost its taste and technology has presented itself in such a way that it only makes matters worse. Arghh. Come to think of it it's because of technology which is why i'm in this godforsaken state.

And if you're reading Cal, it's not porn. I know what you're thinking up there LOL. Same goes to any of you dimwits out there who think i'm going to talk about porn in my blog. That's downright absurd.

Self respect comes before anything else. That's a principle i adhere to. Because if you don't respect yourself how are you expected to do the same to others? How you react against yourself shows how you will react against others.

*i'm talking about random shit that comes to my mind now. Kindly ignore me or feel free to do something else instead of reading this*

I was brought up in a family that was... I can't find the word for it. I think it's a strict code of conduct. It all went down right from the way you dressed to the way you zipped your pants when coming out of the toilet. But that's for my mum's side of the family. Dad's side is the total opposite. Here's the difference



Sociable? Y N
Thinks of others before themselves? Y N
Will not hesitate to voice out if something is wrong? Y N
(something's wrong with the layout. Make it out yourself =x)

See where i'm going with this? I think it all boils down to your upbringing that makes you the person that you are today. Mum told me stories of how my grandparents(mum) used to beat them(by the way my mum had 5 siblings, i guess mass reproduction was kind of an in thing in those days) with a rice sack over their heads.

Just thinking of how children were punished back then and how we're punished now makes a whole lot of difference. But it all balances up. You know why? Because back then there were LESSER reasons to get punished. I mean, no computers,handphones,game consoles. The only thing people did for entertainment were to climb trees and catch spiders. So when the punishment comes it only comes once and it hits hard.(sorry that sounded wrong.)

But now there are so many MORE reasons to get punished despite the punishment being lighter. Exploding your handphone bill, overuse of the computer, playing too much games, spending too much money on games. See? it all balances up.

I'm really good at talking crap but i think no one's going to read my blog anymore if i'm going to do composition length posts in the near future. So i guess that will have to be it until i feel like rambling on about random things again.



I don't want this moment, to ever end,
Where everything's nothing, without you.
I'll wait here forever just to, to see you smile,
Cause it's true, I am nothing without you.

Through it all, I made my mistakes.
I stumble and fall,
But I mean these words.

I want you to know, with everything I won't let this go.
These words are my heart and soul,
I hold on to this moment you know.
Cause I'd bleed my heart out to show, that I won't let go.

Thoughts read are spoken, forever in doubt.
And pieces of memories fall to the ground.
I know what i did and so, I won't let this go.
Cause it's true, I am nothing without you.

All the streets, where I walked alone,
With nowhere to go.
Have come to an end.

I want you to know, with everything I won't let this go.
These words are my heart and soul,
I hold on to this moment you know.
Cause I'd bleed my heart out to show, that I won't let go.

In front of your eyes, it falls from the skies,
When you don't know what you're looking to find.
In front of your eyes, it falls from the skies,
When you just never know what you will find.

I don't want this moment to ever end.
Where everything's nothing without you.

I want you to know, with everything I won't let this go.
These words are my heart and soul,
I hold on to this moment you know.
Cause I'd bleed my heart out to show, that I won't let go.

With Me- Sum 41


The song speaks to me. I love the chorus. :D



A fresh start... better make sure i think before i leap.

Anyway school has been very monotonous for me. Day in day out doing the same routine with abit of work thrown in. I better not drag this. I don't want to be involved in last minute work again. I'm sure they gave us 19 weeks for a reason, not for us to slack 10 weeks and 9 weeks to finish up the project.

Been 'stealing' songs off people's Itunes in school. Finally i have some new music to listen to. Had to stop at some point of time because i don't have an indefinite amount of space on my own Ipod.

Well that's about it. Pretty boring if you ask me. I already told myself to prepare to be pinned down because this will probably drag on until i finish NS. 9-5 routine everyday. Seriously i'd rather work from 12-8. It'd be so much better for me. But it'd take up even more time. At least after 5 i can do whatever i like. Don't think there's much to do at 8pm anyway.

String your heartstrings to a guitar and play a tune of everlasting love.